When something goes wrong with your body, you probably wouldn’t hesitate in speaking to a doctor about it, trying to find out the cause and what needs to happen for you to feel better. What happens, then, when it comes to supporting your emotional and mental wellbeing?

People can often feel unsure about what counselling is and how it can help. Ideas of counselling portrayed in the media – in TV shows, movies and social media – are often far removed from the reality of how counselling (and the counsellor!) works – and about the kinds of people who seek counselling in the first place.

There are many common myths about what counselling is – and isn’t! Let’s look at some of these now…

Myth 1 – There’s nothing really wrong with me, so why do I need it?

There is a misconception that to see a counsellor, you need to have either a psychological disorder or to be mentally ill. This is absolutely not the case – in reality, many people with a variety of concerns find counselling beneficial.

You may be looking to seek support because you are feeling anxious and may or may not know why. You might be finding it more and more difficult to cope with daily life, or you may be experiencing problems in a relationship that are making life feel difficult. It may also be that a someone close to you has died, or there has been a major life upheaval that has left you questioning how to move forward.

These are only some of the reasons that people seek counselling – it is as varied as there are people!

Whatever the reason, if you feel that you might benefit from talking to someone about what is going on for you, then you are most likely right – and that is the only reason to seek counselling that you need.

Myth 2 – It’s easier to talk to a friend who knows me really well

Talking to a friend can provide you with great support when you need advice or just want to share how you are feeling. It can, however, be really difficult to share your honest feelings for fear that they might not understand, or you might accidentally offend them and it will change the nature of your friendship forever.

With your counsellor, because they do not have a personal relationship with you, they can remain neutral, non-judgemental and empathic to the struggles you may be facing. You are supported in a safe environment to be able to share honestly and openly with your counsellor, with someone who is trained and qualified to listen.

Myth 3 – It will just be re-hashing my childhood

You may have seen depictions of counselling on TV or in movies where the ‘patient’ lies on a couch and is probed by the counsellor to talk about their early childhood memories with their parents before offering a ‘diagnosis’ of what the problem is!

In reality, counselling is tailored to meet your unique personal needs and situation. Yes, some people do benefit from exploring past relationships and experiences from earlier in their life, but this is not necessarily true for all. Others may wish to focus on the present and what concerns about what may lay ahead. In counselling, you are in control – on what you want your focus to be in counselling, and elements of your life story that you wish to bring.

Myth 4 – I’ll be made to have loads of sessions and it will cost a fortune!

Many people have the impression that once they go to counselling, they are committed to many, many open-ended sessions that will last for years, costing them an arm and a leg. Counselling in reality, however, puts you in charge of your journey – how many sessions and for how long is up to you!

Some people coming to counselling benefit from a few sessions to focus on a particular issue that is proving challenging – and go away from counselling able to manage and cope much better. Others may need more sessions over several months or more. In either case, the decision is always in your hands!

Myth 5 – I’ve been to counselling before and it didn’t work

Sometimes counselling may feel like it hasn’t worked – and that may be for various reasons. It may be that it just wasn’t the right time for you, or you may benefit from seeing a different counsellor.

Remember that each counsellor is different, and it’s important that your counsellor is one that you trust and can build positive rapport with. This trust and respect is so important in the counselling relationship, and sometimes it can just take a few attempts to find the right counsellor for you.